A Letter Submitted to Hanlin Academician Qi Chongli
Qingzhao reports: For a long time I have sought to learn right from wrong and have gained some crude understanding of the Songs and the Rites. Recently, an illness I contracted was nearly fatal. I could no longer distinguish oxen from ants,1 and the ashes and nails for the coffin were made ready. Although I still had my brother to taste medicine for me, there was only one old soldier to answer our door. Being so hard-pressed, I became imprudent. I trusted words that were as melodious as the notes of a flute and was beguiled by speech as alluring as a piece of brocade. My younger brother was tricked into thinking that the letter of official appointment was genuine.2 I myself was on the point of death; who would have thought it was not his jade mirror stand?3 The quickness of it all would be hard to describe, and there was hesitancy and indecision. Then while I was still fraught and sighing, he forced me to go off with him as wife. But once my eyesight and hearing became clear, I realized it would truly be difficult to live together. To my dismay, I realized that at an advanced age, when the sun hung in the mulberry and elm, I had married a worthless shyster of a man.
Abhorring the stench that now clung to my body, I sought only to break away. But he held fast to the jade disk, determined to kill its owner.1 He then began to abuse me freely, and his blows came down daily. It made one recall Liu Ling’s chicken ribs; how could they have withstood Shi Le’s fists?2 Crouching under heaven and stepping timidly on the earth, I presumed to emulate the moving complaints of the woman who chattered to herself. Advancing from the great hall to the inner apartment, I was not so eager as Li Chi.
With no one to turn to for help, it seemed best to present my own case. Never did I expect that this trivial problem would be heard so high above. The Celestial Mind received my request, and the matter was turned over to the Office for Law Enforcement. We faced each other, bound in manacles; together with the vile one I put forth my case. Was it only Master Jia who was ashamed to associate with Jiang and Guan?5 Are Laozi and Han Feizi the only incompatibles who have circulated to- gether?6 I prayed only that I escape death and had no expectation of cash compensation. My companionship of the wayward and vile one had lasted one hundred days; surely it was not a calamity sent down from heaven. Captivity in prison was to last but nine days; who could say it was all human doing?7 If you spend a fortune to shoot down a sparrow, where is the profit to be found? But splitting one’s head against a pillar will surely bring about a loss. Truly there was perversity and obtuseness; both the good and bad commingle, after all, in the courts and the marketplace.
It was then that I bowed before the palace writer and recipient of edicts [Qi Chongli], he the scion of an esteemed clan of the official tablet and sash, a man of impeccable background who has the cap and carriage insignia of high position. Under the sun he has no equal; among men he is number one. The imperial victory at Fengtian was rooted in phrases drafted by Lu Zhi; the pacification of Huai and Cai was actually brought about by the Huichang decrees.3 He treated the pitiable person who had no one to appeal to with a degree of generosity like that of unbridling one of the team of horses.4 His kindness was as lofty as the wild goose in flight, and he truly seemed to have personally accomplished the deed. So it happened that my white head was spared the vermilion writing brush.5 How should I, Qingzhao, presume not to reflect upon my errors and feel a sense of shame, or not place my hand on my heart in acknowledgment of my disgrace? Measured against either common principles or good sense, my actions have made it impossible for me to escape the censure of ten thousand generations. My virtue ruined, my name ruined, how could I ever bear to meet gentlemen of the central court? All the bamboo on South Mountain, converted into writing slips, would be insufficient to record the insults that the crowd hurled at me. Only a wise man’s words could put a stop to their baseless slander.
The towering Peng bird soars high above, whereas the little quail sinks to the ground. The fire mouse and the ice silkworm can hardly share the same preferences.6 This is as obvious to little boys as it is to wise men.
I ask that you confer your evaluations upon me and that you share with me your purifying influence. I swear that dressed in plain cloth and eat- ing vegetarian meals, I shall devote myself to “knowing the new by keep- ing the ancient fresh in my mind.” If ever I get to see the old rivers and mountains, it will be as before, with a single pitcher and a single rice bowl. Should I be able to return to our ancestral home, I will be sure to bathe and perfume myself three times before proceeding in. I have brought shame upon my distant relative and have presumed to defile his name.
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2.2 投翰林學士綦崈禮啟 A Letter Submitted to Hanlin Academician Qi Chongli
Date: 2022-01-12 11:46 pm (UTC)清照啟:素習義方，粗明詩禮。近因疾病，欲至膏肓，牛
蟻不分，灰釘已具。嘗藥雖存弱弟，應門惟有老兵。既爾
蒼皇，因成造次。信彼如簧之舌，惑兹似錦之言。弟既可
欺，持官文書來輒信;身幾欲死，非玉鏡架亦安知?僶俛
難言，優柔莫决。呻吟未定，強以同歸。視聽才分，實難
共處。忍以桑榆之晚節，配兹駔儈之下才。
身既懷臭之可嫌，惟求脫去;彼素抱璧之將往，决欲
殺之。遂肆侵凌，日加毆擊。可念劉伶之肋，難勝石勒之
拳。局天扣地，敢效談娘之善訴;升堂入室，素非李赤之
甘心。
外援難求，自陳何害?豈期末事，乃得上聞。取自宸
衷，付之廷尉。被桎梏而置對，同凶醜以陳詞。豈惟賈生
羞絳灌為伍，何啻老子與韓非同傳。但祈脫死，莫望償
金。友凶橫者十旬，蓋非天降;居囹圉者九日，豈是人
為?抵雀捐金，利當安往?將頭碎璧，失固可知。實自謬
愚，分知獄市。
此蓋伏遇內翰承旨，搢紳望族，冠蓋清流，日下無
雙，人間第一。奉天克復，本原陸贄之詞;淮蔡底平，
實以會昌之詔。哀憐無告，雖未解驂;感戴鴻恩，如真
出己。故兹白首，得免丹書。清照敢不省過知慚，捫心識
媿。責全責智，已難逃萬世之譏;敗德敗名，何以見中朝
之士!雖南山之竹，豈能窮多口之談?惟智者之言，可以
止無根之謗。
高鵬尺鷃,本異升沉;火鼠冰蠶，難同嗜好。達人共 悉，童子皆知。願賜品題，與加湔洗。誓當布衣蔬食，溫 故知新。再見江山，依舊一瓶一鉢;重歸畎畝，更須三沐 三薰。忝在葭莩，敢茲塵瀆。
A Letter Submitted to Hanlin Academician Qi Chongli
Qingzhao reports: For a long time I have sought to learn right from wrong and have gained some crude understanding of the Songs and the Rites. Recently, an illness I contracted was nearly fatal. I could no longer distinguish oxen from ants,1 and the ashes and nails for the coffin were made ready. Although I still had my brother to taste medicine for me, there was only one old soldier to answer our door. Being so hard-pressed, I became imprudent. I trusted words that were as melodious as the notes of a flute and was beguiled by speech as alluring as a piece of brocade. My younger brother was tricked into thinking that the letter of official appointment was genuine.2 I myself was on the point of death; who would have thought it was not his jade mirror stand?3 The quickness of it all would be hard to describe, and there was hesitancy and indecision. Then while I was still fraught and sighing, he forced me to go off with him as wife. But once my eyesight and hearing became clear, I realized it would truly be difficult to live together. To my dismay, I realized that at an advanced age, when the sun hung in the mulberry and elm, I had married a worthless shyster of a man.
Abhorring the stench that now clung to my body, I sought only to break away. But he held fast to the jade disk, determined to kill its owner.1 He then began to abuse me freely, and his blows came down daily. It made one recall Liu Ling’s chicken ribs; how could they have withstood Shi Le’s fists?2 Crouching under heaven and stepping timidly on the earth, I presumed to emulate the moving complaints of the woman who chattered to herself. Advancing from the great hall to the inner apartment, I was not so eager as Li Chi.
With no one to turn to for help, it seemed best to present my own case. Never did I expect that this trivial problem would be heard so high above. The Celestial Mind received my request, and the matter was turned over to the Office for Law Enforcement. We faced each other, bound in manacles; together with the vile one I put forth my case. Was it only Master Jia who was ashamed to associate with Jiang and Guan?5 Are Laozi and Han Feizi the only incompatibles who have circulated to- gether?6 I prayed only that I escape death and had no expectation of cash compensation. My companionship of the wayward and vile one had lasted one hundred days; surely it was not a calamity sent down from heaven. Captivity in prison was to last but nine days; who could say it was all human doing?7 If you spend a fortune to shoot down a sparrow, where is the profit to be found? But splitting one’s head against a pillar will surely bring about a loss. Truly there was perversity and obtuseness; both the good and bad commingle, after all, in the courts and the marketplace.
It was then that I bowed before the palace writer and recipient of edicts [Qi Chongli], he the scion of an esteemed clan of the official tablet and sash, a man of impeccable background who has the cap and carriage insignia of high position. Under the sun he has no equal; among men he is number one. The imperial victory at Fengtian was rooted in phrases drafted by Lu Zhi; the pacification of Huai and Cai was actually brought about by the Huichang decrees.3 He treated the pitiable person who had no one to appeal to with a degree of generosity like that of unbridling one of the team of horses.4 His kindness was as lofty as the wild goose in flight, and he truly seemed to have personally accomplished the deed. So it happened that my white head was spared the vermilion writing brush.5 How should I, Qingzhao, presume not to reflect upon my errors and feel a sense of shame, or not place my hand on my heart in acknowledgment of my disgrace? Measured against either common principles or good sense, my actions have made it impossible for me to escape the censure of ten thousand generations. My virtue ruined, my name ruined, how could I ever bear to meet gentlemen of the central court? All the bamboo on South Mountain, converted into writing slips, would be insufficient to record the insults that the crowd hurled at me. Only a wise man’s words could put a stop to their baseless slander.
The towering Peng bird soars high above, whereas the little quail sinks to the ground. The fire mouse and the ice silkworm can hardly share the same preferences.6 This is as obvious to little boys as it is to wise men.
I ask that you confer your evaluations upon me and that you share with me your purifying influence. I swear that dressed in plain cloth and eat- ing vegetarian meals, I shall devote myself to “knowing the new by keep- ing the ancient fresh in my mind.” If ever I get to see the old rivers and mountains, it will be as before, with a single pitcher and a single rice bowl. Should I be able to return to our ancestral home, I will be sure to bathe and perfume myself three times before proceeding in. I have brought shame upon my distant relative and have presumed to defile his name.
[see endnote]